Navigating Disagreements

Weekly wisdom to level up your creative life in 3 minutes, for free.

A SHORT STORY

I recently took myself off social media for an extended period. It felt like everywhere I turned, the media was amplifying disagreement. And I kept witnessing a fundamental lack of tools for navigating those disagreements.

It all felt a bit disheartening and I needed a break.

This reminded me of a conversation I once shared with my friend from Tibet, Geshe Damchoe.

We were sitting in a Jackson Heights diner sipping chai tea, and I asked him about anger and how to navigate that emotion in a healthy way.

I remember he shared with me the words of the 9th-century philosopher, Shantideva: “You should be able to differentiate a subject and their action.”

He explained further—when a person says, “I’m sorry, I will not do it again,” notice how they are differentiating their self from their action. As such, you must do the same with another. This is how forgiveness comes.

He told me, “You can still retaliate by condemning the action and have compassion for the person. Remember, even though it may feel like you are suffering and they are winning, it is through karma that they will suffer more in the future.”

This is how emotion and logic can be helpful when dealing with compassion.

I’ve always found that idea helpful in maintaining my own perspective. Though I often fail, especially in moments when I jump to judgment, I find that when I’m mindful, I can calmly remind myself to stay compassionate in the midst of disagreement.

If I take a breath, I can make that conscious separation of subject and action.

Where are you finding disagreement in your life this week? How might you be able to differentiate between a person and their action? How might you be able to find compassion for them in the midst of that disagreement?

A CREATIVE TOOL

This week, I begin another round of the Innovation Laboratory with HUG - this time teaching creators how to train their own AI models.

Claire Silver, one of the artists that will be a guest teacher in the course, gave such a thorough description of what AI actually does - that I felt it was important to include it here.

“AI doesn’t copy…it imagines.”

A PIECE OF ART

“Sports” by Ada Limon

I’ve seen my fair share of baseball games,
eaten smothered hotdogs in Kansas City
and carne asada burritos in San Francisco
in the sunny stands on a day free of fog.
I’ve sat in a bar for hours watching
basketball and baseball and the Super Bowl,
and I’ve even high-fived and clinked
my almost-empty drink with a stranger
because it felt good to go through something
together even though we hadn’t been through
anything but the drama of a game, its players.
If I am honest, what I love, why I love
the sounds of the games even when I’m not
interested, half-listening, is one thing:
When my father and my stepfather had to be
in the same room, or had to drop my brother
and me off during our weekly move from one
house to another, they, for a brief moment,
would stand together in the doorway or
on the gravel driveway and it felt like what true
terror should feel like, two men who were so
different you could barely see their shadows
attached in the same way, and just when
I thought I couldn’t watch the pause
lengthen between them, they’d talk about
the playoffs or the finals or whatever team
was doing whatever thing required that season
and sometimes they’d even shrug or make
a motion that felt like two people who weren’t
opposites after all. Once, I sat in the car
and waited for one of them to take me away
and from the backseat I swear they looked
like they were on the same team, united
against a common enemy, had been fighting,
all this time, on the same side.

Grateful,

Michael