The Complexity of Hope

Weekly wisdom to level up your creative life in 3 minutes, for free.

A SHORT STORY

This week I am in El Paso, Texas for performances for Theater Mitu’s Utopian Hotline.

It is the first time I’ve returned to the region since 2013. For two years, we created a piece about Juárez, Mexico, during the height of the drug war. At that time, Juárez had the highest murder rate in the world, and we traveled to the region five times in 2012 and 2013, conducting research and interviewing citizens on both sides of the border. “JUÁREZ: A Documentary Mythology,” based on an archive of hundreds of hours of interviews, emerged as an exploration of this border community’s memories from the past—both recent and distant—and its hopes for the future, near and far.

One citizen who still stands out in my mind is Chris Bailey. A border lander who grew up between El Paso and Juárez, he was also an activist who often spoke out against the violence of that time.

I can still remember what he said when I asked him, “What scares you?”

He replied, “I used to live in New York City, and I didn’t know my neighbor’s name. That fucking scares me.”

Even more impactful was his answer to my question, “What do you hope for?”

“What do I hope for? Oh man. I don’t even really think about hopes right now. I mean, you realize hope is something you really don’t—hope is a luxury that we can’t afford. It’s just something we can’t afford here. 'Cause when it doesn’t realize, it doesn’t manifest, you’re Sisyphus trying to get to the top of the hill. And the peak you’re never gonna fucking get to. The only thing you can realize is you get up every day and push that fucking rock. That’s it. That’s not hope. That’s determination. There’s a big fucking difference. Big difference.”

I’ve never forgotten that. So, as I visit this vibrant community once more, I am reminded that while hope may be a luxury, determination is a choice. It reminds me that we choose to rise each day and push our own rocks, together.

It reminds me that there are catalysts for change and bearers of light during dark times—a determined, unyielding existence that shows up despite the suffering.

What rocks are you pushing in your own journey, and what keeps you going?

A CREATIVE TOOL

As part of the development for Utopian Hotline, we set up a hotline and invited people from all around the world to call and leave messages answering the question - “How do you imagine a more perfect future?”

To our surprise, hundreds of people called and left voicemails that were funny, heartbreaking, and profound. We took those messages and created a performance, a vinyl record, and a virtual archive - where you can go and interact with the voicemails.

Check it out, below!

A PIECE OF ART

“Same” by Hannah Ro

Grateful,

Michael